A time machine is what I need right now, to take me to the good days in my life like maybe my Namibia outreach or Outeniqua hike., or maybe into my future to my wedding day, my first-day jet skiing or my first day touching real snow. Any good day would be great. Or maybe I need a teleporter to take me away to a far away country where people don’t know me and I don’t know anyone, just for a week. Maybe I might make friends, maybe make a difference, a place where nobody knows all the mistakes I’ve made and all my deepest secrets, where I can find happiness, peace and serenity.
Don’t you sometimes feel like starting your life over and fixing all the mistakes you made, helping the people you wish you’d help before, reminding family more what they mean to you, being the person you create in your mind, the person who is so called “PERFECT” to you? You might feel like you don’t know yourself, like everything you were said to be isn’t there anymore. The perfect, beautiful, charming, unique, funny and intelligent woman/man isn’t there anymore.
Or maybe it’s not the case of starting over, it’s the case of letting go, something that you’ve been holding on for so long and it’s pulling your heart out of your soul and all you want is for it to disappear and never have had happened.
Think of yourself as a sunflower, you can’t grow if you do not allow yourself to have sunlight(happiness, positivity, belief), if you allow the sun to shine over you, you will grow and then the rain will come and it will wet you and it might wash you over and break your petals off, but it’s all part of the growing process. And as soon as you accept all these things, you will grow beautiful and gracefully, and others will look up to you and think “DAMN!”.
Create a new pattern of thoughts,
a new wave of emotions,
a new connection to the world,
a new belief system in yourself.
You are an extraordinary person and you have so much to live for, don’t try ever to be different because you are you and that’s perfect. Maybe you need to get away a little and hopefully, nothing is stopping you because exams and school and my parents are stopping me at the moment.